Photography class

Since I was really little I had LOVED taking pictures and still do. I still have all but two of my 7 cameras I have used in my entire life still which is kind of cool to look back at and just see how far cameras have come. I mean we are now in the digital world with my newest camera being a Canon DSLR, which is such an amazing camera. Anyways, I have been wanting to take a class on photography, specifically for the DSLR world just to get some more tips and tricks to help me out. I don't really want to make this into a big career thing, its just more of a passion or a hobbie I guess you could say. Well since I bought our Canon last March I had wanted to take the class, but they offered it starting this past October which was a no fly zone for me since I just had Dagney and couldn't leave him just yet, especially since he had all of his health problems. So now I am just waiting for the York Region general interest class book to come out so I can take a look and see if it is offered at the school near me, whcih I am crossing my fingers it is and if it isn't I am going to be totally bummed. This is something I really am interested in doing, especially since becoming a Mother most of your indentity flies right out the window and you are "just a Mom", how fun, NOT! Don't get me wrong its amazing being a Mother, but I still need something for ME and taking pictures is that ME thing.
  I am looking forward to taking Dagney out again and taking some pictures of the spring time nature. I think taking pictures of nature is my all time favourite thing to take pictures of. It just gives me a sense of peace I guess you could say.
  I think if there is no class offered close by I may just grab a book and do some reading. I probably could find some YT videos I am sure, which that never dawned on me before for some odd reason. And maybe if they don't offer it I will just take something else, like pottery or ceramics or maybe even sewing. Something crafty.

Exploring the park!

  Dustin and his buddies decided today was a nice enough day to go out to the park and throw around the baseball. I use to join them and throw the baseball around and catch it with my glove, but not anymore! I have a little boy to take care of, which is wonderful. To be honest I don't even miss that tiny thing I once did. Okay maybe I am lying, I do miss it, but once I see Dagney it escapes my mind.

  So we decided to walk to the park instead of driving. The park is so close, just up the street so why bother. Plus the weather was so nice and warm. A little breezey, but nothing we couldn't handle walking in. The fresh air for all of us was needed since we have been cooped up inside because of being sick and it raining for a week(btw, it is suppose to rain all of this week too. BOO!). We got to the park and just walked around while I had Dagney in the Ergo. He had fallen asleep and I know as soon as I either stop moving or sit down he usually wakes up so we decided to walk up and down the path way while we waited for the guys to get there. They did finally and by that time Dagney had woken from his short nap on me. I took him on the swings which for it being his third time, he actually really liked it. Then we decided to explore the two slides. One was like a ripple with a few pumps and the other one was one of those twisty slides. We went down them multiple times and he just had the biggest grin on his face every time. It was priceless and I am so glad he liked it just as much as I had. You know when I was pregnant I would imagine one day taking him to the park and having fun, I couldn't wait to do it and now we are! After that we sat on the grass and just hung out for a little while. He explored the grass, touched it, pulled pieces out and found a leaf. It was so interesting watching him try to figure it out. He is amazing! I always wonder what he is thinking and it would be such a neat thing if we could actually know what they are thinking when dicovering and exploring something new.

  It was such a great Sunday afternoon! I had a blast at the park with my little man. I can't wait to do it more once the weather is nicer.

We need to appreciate nature and the small things more.

I think us humans need to appreciate things in life a little more. We tend to get caught up in what is being aired on tv, our materialist objects, small problems we make into huge mole hills and forget to appreciate small things this earth gives to us. We really do need to stop and smell the flowers more, maybe we would all be a little more content with even the negative in life or some of our problems wouldn't have such an impact on us. I really want to start trying to take a step back whenever anything stressful happens or anything in my life gets in the way of potentially enjoying something. I am the type of person that is not very optimistic, hell I am not really at all. I use to say I expect the worst, but hope for the best in everything, which in most cases it always does end up being the worst, but I can't keep looking for that or else I am never going to enjoy the little things in life.

I have learned a lot since growing up, gone through a lot and I guess I can admit that with those good and bad things that I have experienced and gone through it has made me who I am today. I always said I would LOVE to erase all those shitty things that happened and just forget about them, but I think if I did I would lose a part of me and who I have become so now I take back what I have always said and I am actually kinda glad that all that has happened. Even since becoming pregnant with my daughter things have changed hugely and even how I look at things now.

Anyways, I have no idea where this is going, but I just think we all need to appreciate teh small things in life, especially what nature has to offer. Nature is such a beautiful thing in life and it gets skipped over and I think maybe for myself to be able to deal with worry and stress less is to take time out of my life and enjoy it! I want to teach my daughter this too when she comes, while she is growing up. Have a love for nature and not get all tyed up in materialistic things like everyone else does.

I want a simple life, and nothing but the simplest things. I don't need stuff to be happy.

****This was written while I was pregnant when I thought Dagney was a girl! I still think this though!!****

What are the plans for this weekend you may ask?

Its Easter weekend for everyone else around us, but us. Yes, Dustin does get Good Friday off from work, but we do not celebrate Easter at all. We always get asked why not and I always respond first off by saying we are not religious(we are Atheists) for one so the religious aspect of the holiday doesn't mean anything to us and the whole Easter Bunny just doesn't feel right to us as a family or personally to celebrate and partake in. We do not feel comfortable with doing it etc. And this is the same with Christmas as well. We have in the past gotten a lot of negative reactions when we did decide to not celebrate it and I think when we explained to them that it wasn't something that we wanted to do and it had no meaning to us at all they took it as we were saying there was something wrong with them celebrating it, which was totally not what we were saying at all. Its for us and only us. Who ever wants to celebrate it can, as long as they are happy to and enjoy it!

  Anyways, so we aren't doing any major Easter celebrations or anything in regards to that. Tomorrow we will probably just take it easy and hang out around our place as a family. Do some cleaning and playing with Dagney since Dustin works a lot and doesn't get a chance during the week to spend time with Dagney this is a great oppertunity.
  Saturday I plan to go to a local baby botuque store here in town to try their Sunshine Kids Radian XT carseat in our car to see how it fits and if all goes well then we will be ordering Dagney's big boy car seat. *tear* I can't believe we will be moving him out of his infant bucket seat soon and into a bigger one. Its crazy! But I LOVE the seat and can't wait to see and try it out. I am pretty sure that is the one we are going to be going with. It has a taller and thinner shell then most car seats which is awesome especially if we have another child and need to fit another car seat in the car too. His won't take up so much room. And it can be rear facing for up to 45lbs, which we plan to keep Dagney rear facing as long as possible. So the higher weight limit the better. And then I am not sure what else on Saturday? Probably going to buy some more Earth Balance(butter replacer) from Nature's Emporium which is a natural health food grocery store in the town just north of us. That place is amazing!
  Sunday we have nothing planned so it will just be a wing it day. Maybe go for a hike if the weather is nice.

So that is what is in store for our weekend!

How to make new friends...

This is something I have been thinking about for a while now, even before I got pregnant with Dagney. I lack in the friend department big time! I have those 4 really close friends that I talk to a lot, but those close friends all live either a 2 hour drive away or in another province so our communication is restricted to sending e-mails or talking on Skype.

  I am a loser to say the least! Seriously I really am. I don't do anything with anyone at all really and it stinks. So I am trying to figure out how to make friends that actually are interested in the same stuff as me, maybe not everything, but some what. You need that connection or personality trait that is close to yours so you can hit it off. I feel like I am talking about finding a husband to marry(Found him already thank goodness! lol). But seriously I have a hard time making friends or finding them at this age. No one views things the same as I do, cares about things like I do. All I seem to find is woman or men so consumed by STUFF and THINGS and spending money. I don't have money nor do I want to get my nails done, hair done, spend all my waking life at the mall buying clothes or other items I don't need.
  I guess it just goes to show you that the few friends I do have should be cherished! They all mean the world to me, especially a specific one. <3

Trying to be the best mom I can possibly be.

While growing up I didn't have much of a luxury to have a stay at home mom, or a mom who was able to take us places, or even have time to sit down and play with us or interact with us. I had a single mom who needed to work all the time and never had enough money to take us anywhere. This really made me sad. I wished I had that growing up, especially with witnessing my friends and all the kids around me having their parents a big part of their lives.
 I had always said to myself that whenever I were to have my own children that I would make it different and they would get what I didn't have. So for the past month or so or really even since I became pregnant with Dagney I have been making my choices in the best interest of him. Well in the last month I keep worrying my head off if I am saying "I love you" enough, interacting with him enough and just all around being there and having him notice I am there. I know, what a stupid thing to worry over, but seriously for some reason it is eating me up inside. I don't ever want him to feel or through what I had growing up so I am trying so hard, maybe too hard to not let that happen and in tern I make myself go crazy! Who worries about this stuff? Is it normal?

  I guess plane and simple I worried I am going to screw up and not do a very good job at raising Dagney. I know there are going to be bumps in the road where I make choices that I think are good at that time that might not be in the long run, but I just don't want him to have what I have or becoming how my mother was/is and not be able to be there for him as much as I think I should be.

  Again, I set these expectations for myself that are maybe unrealistic and then I panic and judge myself to no end. Why do I do this to myself?