10 thing you might not know about me!

I thought since the last blog post was about something a little more serious in my life I would take the chance to type up a fun one. Kind of like a get to know me blog. Here goes!


1) I am a gum chewer. I have been since I was a kid, but once a teenager I was addicted. I HAD to have a piece of gum in my mouth to chew at all times. Well other than when I was eating and sleeping of course.

2) I am terrified of a lot of things. Most thing that have a very slim chance of happening. For example being a small boat out on the water and a big huge hump back whale or really any whale for that matter swims up beside it. Just thinking about it makes me anxious!

3) I am claustrophobic. Small, tight places make me panic like my life is going to end. It also makes me uncomfortable seeing scenes on the television where someone is crawling through a tunnel in the ground, but a small tunnel. AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

4) I love walking bare foot in dirt, sand etc. But most of all dirt. I tend to be bare foot while gardening too just so I can feel the cool, damp, soft dirt on my feet. Now this makes me wish Winter was over!

5) I have always wanted to live on a big piece of private land, build a small house, have a small live stock and a nice big garden to live off of over the warmer months AND be as electronic free as possible. Just getting back to the basics. You know out houses, no electricity, wood burning stove to cook and keep warm with. That sort of thing. Which reminds me I use to watch all those reality shows that were based on modern people/families going in pioneer life. It excites me!

6) I don't shave OR rarely do. So yes I have hairy under arms, my legs are growing a forest and so on. I will shave for certain times of the year. Say I am going to be in a wedding, I will shave my under arm hairs and legs etc. But for the most part I am O NATURAL ;) Rawr!

7) I love being active. Going to the gym, being outside hiking and just in general doing something active outside I enjoy. It's my thing. However that's mostly in the warmer months. The freezing cold keeps me drawn inside like most people.

8) I won't buy plastic wrap or tin foil, unless I need it for something specific like camping. We use tinfoil while camping, but other than that I will not buy or use it. It's so horrible for the environment! 

9) I have had 5 knee surgeries so far in my life and I am sure I will need more as well as a knee replacement according to my specialist. It's no fun, but I think that's why I am drawn to being active. I want to cherish and make the best of what I have until I don't anymore. I think the surgery where I couldn't walk for 8 weeks was what made me realize my legs mean a lot to me.

10) Gardening!! I love having one, being in one and just watching things grow. I had my very first veggie garden when I was 13.

So there you have it. 10 things you might not known about me!

The hard decision about expanding our family.

I have been doing a lot of thinking as of lately and I thought I would jot them down in my blog and get them out of my mind so I am not running in circles.
 You know that hard decision whether to expand your family or keep it the same size. I new before having Dagney in my heart I had hoped to have three children of my own and once Dagney was born that thought still stuck with me. Well now after having Avalon, our second child in my heart I still had that inkling feeling of a third, but I new I could not be pregnant for at least another 3-5 years. Now I know you are asking why, right? Here are most of the reasons.

1~ I NEED to nurture myself, deal with my anxiety and depression and get my body back to being healthy.

2~ I NEED to be free of (this will sound completely selfish as I am sure most things do) having my body controlled by someone else. Pregnancy is 9 months and it restricts me A LOT and I just weaned from exclusively pumping. I am free again or WE are free again to come and go when we please and aren't restricted nor am I on a timer for when I need to pump next and it feels great to have that freedom for myself and my children back.

3~ I NEED to spend time one of one with Avalon. I personally felt Dagney lost out on that and so did I when I was pregnant with Avalon and when she was a baby. Dagney will be starting school in September, which means almost all of my time during the day will be devoted to her and I to bond. We will be missing Dagney though!

4~ Financially we can not care for a third child. We are already penny pinching as it is right now with two.

5~ Vehicle. We have a small hatch back car that is big enough for the four of us, but would not be big enough if we were a 5 person family so in 3 years our vehicle will be paid off and we hope to purchase a bigger vehicle.

6~ I want Avalon to be in school if and when we have a third so I can deal with just the baby during the day instead of two again. My babies seem to be VERY colicky and have sever reflux which restricts me from really doing much at all and I want to minimize my other children to have to be around a crying baby. It's not a fun situation for anyone to be in and I am sure those that have had a colicky, reflux baby completely understand. 

Now I know some if not all of these reasons may not be the same as you or you wouldn't let those get in the way of expanding your family, but it is something myself and my husband both feel strongly about.

On to another thing. We aren't even sure we WILL have a third in 3-5 years either.

The thought of another potential c-section gives me much sadness, even though I hope to have a vaginal birth . The thought of struggling with breastfeeding as I did with both of my other two and than really feeling the strain from exclusively pumping and it's effects not only on me, but the rest of our family.And then there is me wanting to get my high school diploma, go to college and have a career. I know some are capable of doing this with having a baby, but I rather not have to juggle it all while I am trying to focus on schooling. I want to succeed and for me and how I learn(I am a VERY slow learner) I need all the time I can get to devote to school.
So for now we are not expanding our family anytime soon and making sure it is prevented. I am content with this decision for now and I am ready to enjoy our family of four!

Getting back to ME

   A lot of people that know me, know that I struggle really bad with depression especially during the colder months. So I am looking into some more natural forms to help me combat this until the warmer more brighter months like summer. Oh lovely summer how I miss you!

I have done a bit of research and talked to my health care provider about taking a natural supplement called 5HTP, which has been found to really help with anxiety and depression. There are some side effects, but what medication or supplement doesn't come with the possibility of side effects. I personally had to weigh the pros and cons to each side and make a choice with what I wanted to do. So I am now taking 100mg of 5HTP. So far it has been 5 days and I have noticed a big different so far. One thing I have noticed other than my mood being a lot more positive with some motivation on my side is that my need to eat food to help me feel better isn't there anymore. Yes, I was one to eat to fill a void and try to help me feel better, which has not helped and I have gained 10lbs in the last 5 months. I almost have to make myself consume a meal or a snack. The last few days I have had to force myself to eat actually. Well I lie, by 2pm in the afternoon is when I had bad hunger pains, but all morning I had zero hunger pains or want to eat. But don't you worry I wont be starving myself, I plan to get on a good healthy eating habits roll so my body is being given the best to help with depression. 

Another good thing I am making sure I take is vitamin D, fish oils, multi vitamin and a complex B vitamin which are all suppose to aid in mental health. And last but not least is exercise! I am one of those crazy nut cases that actually enjoys going to a gym and working out for 1-2 hours daily. If I could fit in being a gym addict now that I am a busy Mother I would. Some Mom's have a glass of wine and GASP some Mothers will do some *cough* illegal activity *cough* to get through their day. Neither of those are for me personally, but give me a gym membership and I will use it to my full advantage. Now give me a treadmill and stationary bike at home and I wont touch it, go figure. Something about getting out of the home, being by myself and working hard on weight machines gives me a natural high. Maybe it's adrenaline and serotonin combined, but whatever it may be it helps my mood. 

So lets mark 2014 the year to really kick depression in the butt and out the door! Anyone with me? Do you suffer from depression? How do you help it. Did you find anti-depressants to help a lot or do you find a combination of anti depressants and natural forms to really help. Please share with me your secrets to kick your depression in the butt.

Photo is not mine personally, but it's beautiful so I thought I would share. Nature is another natural antidepressant.